Reef Madness

Part III: Now what? page4

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
Lewis Carroll

June 21, 2007

I ordered tile for the kitchen today. I think it will look great, but who knows? If it doesn’t, it will be a very expensive mistake. I ended up ordering far more than I need because if I ordered what I need I get a 5% discount and if I order five sheets more than I need I get a 10% discount. I would in effect, get an additional 8 square feet for the same price as what I really need (I think this is some sort of new math). So ultimately I have an additional 8 square extra feet for free (free?), but then I have to find a place to store the additional 8 square feet (for free) in a villa that has little space to store much of anything (now that I’ve seen just how big our waffle iron is). Perhaps I will have to end up renting a storage facility to store all the extra stuff there is no room for (not for free) Am I smart or what?

June 22, 2007

This week, which has seen its share of ups and downs at Reef Madness, is coming to a mind-numbing ending. On the one hand, we’ve had good news: pictures of the cypress ceiling that seem to show the mildew has been beaten into submission and other pictures that show the floor tile installation has begun. We received the long-awaited business license that will allow us to rent Reef Madness and an enthusiastic note from our property manager stating everything looks spectacular at our villa. This morning we made a tentative airline reservation for a quick trip in the middle of July to tidy up some business items on-island. We put the reservations on a 24-hour hold so we could double check the availability of affordable, short term, St John lodging. Just when you think it is safe to go back into the water… Another invoice arrived from our builder…another huge invoice…another way-too-huge, over the budget invoice. Guess what, the well has run dry and we still have a ways to go until the end of the project. We are trying to reach the builder but so far…nothing. Now we’re not sure what we’re going to do. Stay? Go? Fall on our sword... what? This is just a perfect way to start our weekend. Now we don’t know what to do or what to look forward to. A part-time job? Do you want fries with that shake? The road to the end of this project once again got steeper and slipperier. I suppose we’ve got to keep climbing, but please, somebody get me some oxygen…on second thought, make that a rum…a double...

June 25 2007

Ahhhh… Monday, Monday, so good to me. Our mango daiquiri binge throughout the weekend (for medicinal purposes of course) proved quite successful with the exception of the accompaniment of general flu-like symptoms this morning. We clawed our way through despondency and despair to come out the other side whole, if not somewhat daunted by this financial crisis. The end of all this is in sight. We must “stay the course!”. (Oh, geez, where have I heard that before?) Our builder says he will work with us to get this project finished without us having to crawl on our hands and knees to find additional financial resources. Perhaps I am naïve, but I believe him. Stop the painting, we are coming back to finish! We will sleep on Reef Madness’ floor and use the port-a-potty if need be. I am sure that will make all the difference. On the positive side, we have had more inquires from people interested in renting Reef Madness and right now, that is what this is all about. When this villa is done (and it will be SOON!), it will be everything we had hoped for. If it isn’t, we will lower our standards and then it will be everything we hoped for.

June 26 2007

We’ve been planning and building Reef Madness for over 3 years now and it’s hard to believe that the end is truly in sight. Over those 3 years we’ve been able to take everything at a rather leisurely pace – but no more. Suddenly there are many details that must be finalized in the next few weeks. If we have electricity (soon come) we could be ready to move in next month which would give us plenty of time to fine tune the comfort and operation of our villa. Now that is exciting, except for the WAPA unknown. The question of the day involves our furniture delivery and the date of arrival, which is still a moving target. “Soon come” would be fine with us if we were sitting on St. John with rum drinks in hand, waiting for our boat to come in, but we’re several thousand miles away waiting for our boat to come in, and we don’t want to purchase those pricey airline tickets (out of money ya know) until we know we can spend some quality time lugging that king-size box spring and mattress up our stairtower. Now that’s a daunting image… What if it’s too big for the stairtower? What if it ends up in our endless pool? What if it rolls the whole way down Seagrape Hill into Skinny Legs? (Why am I suddenly thinking of Laurel & Hardy and “The Music Box”?) In the meantime those round-trip fares to St. Thomas don’t get any cheaper as the travel dates approach. Maybe I should find a position with an airline…maybe I should have another drink…

June 27 2007

Being from the big city, we have lived a somewhat sheltered existence. For one thing, electricity, TV, and telephone signals traditionally get to where they are going through little wires that hang on telephone poles. Now, granted the 21st century is getting away from those wire dependent technologies and goodness knows what did we ever do before the cell phone became dependable and affordable? I could go on a tirade about poles and electricity and the like, but we’ve already ranted about that so suffice it to say that Reef Madness cannot wait until telephone, cable, and internet access appear at our doorstep (or on our telephone pole). So one of the things we’re going to try at Reef Madness for the first time in our sheltered lives is Satellite TV! Cool!!! And I thought that Sputnik thing was just for some giant slingshot contraption the Russians were building in outer space… Cable TV on the top of Seagrape Hill is probably a century or more away, so we’ve contacted the DISH Network guy on St. Thomas to set up our service. Cal is his name and his company is called Satellite Entertainment Services. Unlike the continental U.S., St. John doesn’t sit directly under any satellites that would benefit RM, so picking up DISH TV requires something slightly larger than the dainty rooftop models seen around the contiguous 48. How much larger? 6 feet in diameter – just like those first obtuse dishes looked like 30 years ago. Fortunately for us, the hillside beside and below Reef Madness is so steep, we’ll never see it from the house. And for those who can see it from another hillside, like all over Bordeaux Mountain – we’ll disguise it – like a giant Caribbean mushroom!

June 28 2007

We asked Lewis at Sunnyrock to give us a timeline for the next events at Reef Madness. Here is the timeline (revision 39) as of this week, or rather this hour of this day of this week: Tile in great room is expected to be finished next week after which the kitchen can be started. Because of Carnival, Jack, the St Croix kitchen contractor, does not want to start installing the cabinets next week because …well, something about St John and a zoo and crazy people and… so he will start the kitchen the following week of July 9th. The tile in the bedrooms is complete, but not so the bedroom baths, so that will take place after the tile in the great room is done next week (are you keeping up here?). The plastering/stucco should be done about the same time as the kitchen, and the furniture should show up shortly after the plaster/stucco is done. The nice woman at WAPA told us that the Wapa crew does not work during Carnival, so they won’t be here this week, next week, or the following week. The stairtower should be done sometime shortly after the stone mason’s youngest child graduates from college and our power lines are due in shortly thereafter. Ahhhhh… progress…

June 29 2007

Today, Lewis finally made good on his promise to send us new photos of Reef Madness and it looks like progress really is being made (unless of course Lewis likes to tinker with photo-shop as much as I do and we are really seeing someone else’s villa). Most of the shots are of the interior, but then most of the work being done is on the interior so I guess it makes sense to show us what is different rather than what still looks the same. The first picture is of the back wall of the great room. This is the only wall in the great room that is not made of Caribbean stone. They have finished up the plastering and have put on a white base coat. The doors will be stained and varnished and the walls will be painted some African/Caribbean/Gothic/French Provincial color that I am sure everyone will be thrilled with or perhaps we will keep it white and please my mother. The second shot is of the very dirty tile that goes from the bedroom to the bath. We did nothing particularly controversial there and it’s too late to change our minds and get creatively dangerous! As much as we hate to cover up all our very chic and expensive concrete (all the best people are making a concrete fashion statement this season), the tile does look great and it feels good to see that which was merely imagined many months ago come to fruition.

July 2, 2007

I realize that I am constantly putting it to the stonemasons. Truthfully, much of it has been more than deserved. I do have to say that this last group (I forget how many we have been through) is working continuously and tirelessly, well maybe not tirelessly, but at a steady pace and yes, progress is being made. The end is in sight! Having never actually seen a stone mason at work myself, I can only imagine how time consuming their craft is, so for me to insinuate that progress has been neck and neck with the continental drift is truly unfair. Probably it more closely resembles… say, the time it takes to change the Constitution, or win a war on terror or something. The latest picture that Lewis sent shows a slight change in the stairtower status. All walls appear to be at full height with the exception of the back wall. On the back wall, I can now see a form built for the next concrete pour (oh no, more concrete). Once the concrete is in place, more stone work, perhaps even the LAST stone work, can be completed! Chinking is still “Soon Come” but hey, we have walls, we have roof, we have stairs… Life is good! Electricity would make it nearly perfect!

July 3, 2007

Today is J’ouvert on St John. Carnival. It’s loud, it’s hectic, it’s madness, and it’s one great big St John party. Carnival in Western civilization was originally a secular affair preceding the sacred Lent (the big party before Lent comes and puts a damper on everything). Carnival in the Caribbean does not appear to have anything to do with Lent (with the exception of the more bacchanal aspects preceding Lent) and occurs at various months depending on the island. Hey, who needs more tourists on St John during February when Lent usually occurs. No money in that, right? So it is set in June and July tying in with the celebratory Fourth of July (and traditionally slow tourist season). Party, party, party! Whereas in New Orleans, the Carnival culminates on “Fat Tuesday” or “Mardi Gras”, on St John, the grand finale is “J'ouvert” (pronounced jovhay). J'ouvert is a patois version of the French "Jour Ouvert" meaning 'daybreak'. Perhaps that is where St Johnians get their impetus to party from sun up to sun up during J'ouvert. What does this have to do with Reef Madness you ask? Well, nothing actually, except that work comes to screeching halt and everyone plays (or gets out of Dodge for the duration). Jumbies walk the street, music and food abound and revelers partake in it all. So in the spirit of J'ouvert, we will take tomorrow off and dance to the steel drums in our imagination here stateside.

July 5, 2007

So perhaps we have beat up on the stone masons enough, but WAPA is still in our cross hairs. We know of people who had construction power for months after their villa was completed and even after their villa was rented. The issue with construction power is you have a limited amount of amps to play with and tourists on vacation in paradise, spending the big, St John bucks, do not want to hear they can’t run the air conditioning or the spa because WAPA can’t get their act together. Our situation is worse. We don’t even have temporary power. Like we can rent this place running on a generator? I don’t think so. So, we have recruited friends, contractors, homeless people, total strangers on the street, to call WAPA regularly and nudge them along in the power process, you know, the squeaky wheel hypothesis. Now calling WAPA is no problem. There are a couple of very nice, sweet, concerned ladies in the office that patiently listen to our ranting and assure us that our information will be passed on to “Mr. Smith”. Hummmm, Smith. Sounds rather suspicious to me, like a pseudonym to throw us off the track. Of course we never get to talk to this Mr. Smith who is in charge of everything that controls our lives! None the less, they are always very, very nice. Reminds me of a big friendly dog who jumps up and gives you big wet kisses while he is peeing on your leg.

July 6, 2007

Our furniture is on the move and we are scrambling to pull things together and get ready for its auspicious arrival. We are going to have to pay for a week’s storage in Miami just to give us some breathing room. What will it cost us? Nearly $500.00, that’s how much. But in the larger picture it is easier for us to spend the money (that we don’t have) and have the furniture sent to St John at a time when we can be there and the construction workers will by and large be gone, rather than be on pins and needles wondering who is going to pick it up and get it safely to Reef Madness, safely being the operative word. We have heard horror stories of construction workers using expensive furniture as their personal step ladders; standing on upholstery with their work boots on, using whatever is handy because it is too much work to move the ladder. Nope, no way, uh-uh. I will personally throttle the first person who even looks like he might be entertaining even a passing wisp of a thought about climbing, on, over or through our furniture. I want to be the first person to screw things up. After all I have been through and the money I’ve spent, I deserve it! Then it’s the renter’s turn. They paid for the right (but I hope they are on their good behavior as I am sure they will be). Anyway, we are at a dash to the finish line. We are now planning a trip down to meet our furniture on the 1st of August. By then we hope all the inside work is completed (cock-eyed optimists that we are) and only the villa exterior will remain for the workers to concentrate on. We would like to try and camp out at Madness during this next trip, but (have we mentioned) electricity still could be an issue. Naaaaww, we will have electricity, the workers will have completed the interior, and pigs…

July 9, 2007

This weekend we made airline reservations to go to St John and meet up with our furniture on the 1st of August. We still are not sure if we are being premature on this. One big question is, will Reef Madness have the barest amenities, i.e. toilet, and dare I hope, a shower, to allow us to actually stay there? Do we book a room at the cheapest place imaginable as a back up or should we throw caution to the wind and take our chances with Madness? Are we gamblers? Absolutely, or we wouldn’t have started all this in the first place, right? Making airline reservations has become an art form for us. I spend hours on line checking for any drop (or rise) in St Thomas airfares. It fluctuates so much that it has become a complex and somewhat tense decision as to when to click the “purchase” button. It always stresses me when the cost drops one week after I have already purchased the tickets. Conversely, when the price goes up, I feel euphoric, a strange, insidious high. Is this the start of some new form of addiction? Perhaps they will name it after me! Will I end up in the gutter with nothing but frequent flier miles between me and the homeless shelter? It was only a couple of years ago that flying to St. Thomas would cost anywhere from $500 to $1100 dollars per person each and every trip. Now that there is more competition in the Caribbean air destination market, we fortunate island travelers are enjoying dramatically lowered air fares. This is very good news at all levels. The lower the fares, the more we can go down and visit our work-in-progress. The lower the fares, the more other people can come down and visit our favorite island and perhaps even stay at Reef Madness which in turn would help us out with the stone mason and concrete bills. Gee, it works out for everyone!

July 10, 2007

Let’s talk about fans. No, not ones that hang out in bleacher seats, guzzle beer, and blow hot air. The ones that hang from the ceiling and blow cool air! At Reef Madness we’ll have 7 of them, the second variety that is: two in the great room, one in each of the bedrooms, and three on the main house veranda. We’ve been trying to make a decision on these for at least six months. We've shopped specialty stores, on-line stores, home improvement stores; we looked at the ones available in stock on St. John and St. Thomas and we almost bought a couple the last time we were there. But in the end, we always chickened out. We just weren’t prepared to make the decision particularly before we had all the facts from the builder. Turns out, there are no facts. “Get ‘em. Get ‘em down here. We’ll get'em up. We'll make ‘em work” We got a price on a special order for some from Paradise Lumber, but it seemed way too high for our blown budget and would take 6 -10 weeks to get. So this weekend we were in the Home Depot back here in Maryland and we found 3 different models that we felt would work really well at Reef Madness. Better still, all fans were 20% off! Well, give us a chance to save even a little money on this project and we’ll jump on it quicker than a parrot fish on coral. We came away with four new fans and even a plan for getting them down to St John. That trip we just booked for early August? Those fans are our luggage. Tape on a handle of some sort, and voila, a fan suitcase! And yes, we checked out the luggage specification rules at American Airlines and everything conforms! Check the suitcase fans, bring a couple of carry-ons for t-shirts, bathing suits, and shorts - boy we’re set! Can’t wait to see our taxi driver’s expression when he loads these in his van on St. Thomas. And the outdoor fans? That’s our September luggage. Cool mon’…

July 11, 2007

Every time I look at the stuff we are getting ready to ship down to Reef Madness I get overwhelmed. On one hand I think: Is this all we are going to need? I know we are missing something very crucial here. What is it? On the other hand, I think: Look at all this stuff. Do we really need it all? Where are we going to put it all? How much is it going to cost us to ship? One huge space occupier are the king size pillows going on the king size beds. Now these puppies take up a whole lot of room and we have eight of them! One or two pillows can fit into a very large box if they are seriously squished. So now we have to ship four more large boxes the weight of a flea and of course the shippers charge both by weight and square footage. Enter the infomercial. I hate infomercials. They will sell you as far fetched a product as the law allows. They have something to help you lose weight, get fit, get rid of wrinkles both on your face and on your clothes, they can clean your car, clean your teeth, clean your clothes, clean your dog. They will pick you up, bring you down, fluff your hair, and turn Aunt Clara into a movie star. At certain times of the day, and certain days of the week, the infomercial is all that is on TV. I hate them! Who buys all that stuff anyway? So I got sucked (in a manner of speaking) into an infomercial whose product sucks all the air out of a package and shrinks its size to a billionth of its former girth. Hey, it worked! It shrunk those pillows to one billionth their former girth. I love infomercials!

July 12, 2007

Now this may not seem like a particularly exciting picture to you, but to us it is amazing. See that ugly white doohickey thingy hanging off the roof? You might think it is a gutter, but oh no, not just a gutter. That is our future shower! Well not actually a shower, but that which makes the shower wet. No really. Without that doohickey, showers at Reef Madness would be a dusty affair. You see, the Caribe gods send forth the rain which falls from the heavens squarely down upon this beeeaauuuutiful tile roof at Reef Madness, where it in turn runs off the tile and splashes into the gutter doohickey. From there, it races down some super, secret, magical pipes hidden deep within the RM structure and gets deposited in the great big EXPENSIVE CONCRETE CISTERN. From there, it is only a WAPA jump away from going through all the various complex, high tech wizardry to clean and purify it and spew forth as a real and blessedly wet shower. Now isn’t that amazing!

July 13, 2007

We looked at pictures taken exactly one year ago and compared them to the most recent shots of Reef Madness. We were quite surprised. A lot has changed. No matter how slowly we think everything is moving, just looking at the old pictures reminds us how far we have come. Of course it has taken us over a year to get here which stateside would be unheard of. But as we constantly remind ourselves, this is not stateside and it is worth all the headaches. Having said this, I do hope the villa is done before I enter dotage and am unable to maneuver around without oxygen tanks and a wheelchair.

How about if we start a new page on Monday.

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